Oh, the language!

I was talking to someone the other day who said that they needed to get their life back on track. When I asked them, what it meant to get their life back on track, they spouted off a whole long list.

I have to eat better! I have to exercise more regularly! I have to get more things done on my to-do list! I have to stop snacking! They exclaimed.

Whoa, whoa, whoa and holy moly.

Deep breath. Can you relate? I know I can.

What I noticed right away was the, "have to", over and over, plus the gigantic sounding undertaking of it all.

My next question was why it mattered. Just discussing this was like a grounding. It makes such a big difference in the attitude toward making the changes. After getting clear on the why, we went back to the what - starting with the language.

I asked, how would it feel to say I choose to eat better? or I get to exercise more regularly?

It felt like spaciousness and relief (not just to the person I was talking to but also to me).

Next, we focused on a turtle step. No wonder this person felt overwhelmed...ALL THE THINGS! What if you started with one little change? Maybe you don't buy any snacks, so they aren't at the ready? Maybe you add a walk a week to your calendar? What feels like a small doable AND easy step?

Small changes truly add up. I will give you a personal example here.

I love latte. Dare I say, I love latte alatte (ha!). I used to drink it a couple times a week. Then one day, I decided to look up the calories in my favorite concoction. Guess how many? TWO HUNDRED AND SEVENTY! Wowza, right? Sooo, I eliminated one of my visits and that adds up to 14,040 calories a year. Plus, I switched to a different drink which was 100 calories less, saving myself another 5,200 caloreis a year. Do you think it matters, you bet it does. Was it a BIG change? No, it was a turtle step.

Okay, so that was one example of a language change (plus, a little encouragement for turtle stepping).

I have one more language change example: One of the reasons I love coaching is because I learn from my clients, every.single.session.

Case in point, just last week, I was working through a process with a client. I asked her, to tell me what was on her to-do list for that day. She immediately replied, I don't have a to-do list, I have a ta-da(!) list. Isn't she brilliant? Get it girl! I hope she is reading this and sees her genius here. This woman is going to do great things to change the world. One of the things she has figured out already, is consciously recognizing the language she chooses.

Wishing you love, light and blessings.

Brenda